Alternative Ways to Share a Tribute

If a friend or loved one had recently passed away, and you're cringing at the thought of having to stand at a podium to present the eulogy, there are alternative ways to pay tribute while making a lasting impact.

I recently visited my aunt, who has terminal cancer, and she discussed openly the plans for her funeral. She had already spoken with the priest and selected the readings as well as the music, and the church has a nice area for the reception. The one thing she hadn't determined was her eulogy.

Knowing that I'm a eulogy writer, I'm sure she felt compelled to use my service, but I've always known her disdain for eulogies. She considers them ostentatious, and she's never been one to make a fuss.

The idea that someone would brag about her from a sacred pulpit, making her into someone she wasn't by using adjectives and anecdotes that only embellish the truth, might cause her to turn over in her grave in exasperation.

After all, she had never been one to draw attention at a party or talk about herself in a way that warranted accolades from others. She doesn't like fanfare as a living person, so why would she like it after she's gone? Instead, she'd like to celebrate her life quietly and simply, just as she had lived it.

Though she was reluctant to allow for a tribute, she also realized that such a thing could provide the benefit of closure to those left behind. So, she decided on an alternative. Rather than having a speech recited at the funeral service, she asked me to write something for the program. I expressed my happiness in respecting her wishes, knowing that it would have just as much of an impact in honoring her memory.

There are many meaningful and respectful ways to share a tribute without standing at a podium. If you're someone who is being advised to forgo the traditional eulogy, feeling overwhelmed with emotion, or experiencing a fear of public speaking, choosing not to deliver a eulogy yourself does not make your love any less valid.

Here are five heartfelt alternatives to consider:

1. Include Your Tribute in the Printed Program

   Funeral programs or memorial cards often include poems, quotes, or short written messages. If you have something to share, ask if your words can be printed alongside the order of service. This allows everyone to read and reflect on your message without you needing to speak at all.

   
   

2. Have Someone Else Read It for You

   If you've written a eulogy or message but don't feel up to reading it aloud, ask someone you trust to speak on your behalf. This could be a family member, close friend, officiant, celebrant, funeral director, or a professional speaker. These are your words, your voice, just delivered through someone else. Many people find comfort in this option.

   
   

3. Write a Letter and Leave It in the Casket or Urn

   Writing a private letter to your loved one can be just as healing as a spoken tribute. You can leave it with them at the burial or cremation, place it inside the casket, or burn or bury it privately as a personal ritual. Even if no one else hears your words, you've still said what needed to be said. Sometimes, that's enough.

   
   

4. Share Your Words Online or After the Service

   If you're more comfortable expressing yourself in writing, consider posting a tribute on social media, writing a blog or email to family and friends, or creating a video message or photo slideshow with your words as captions or voiceover narration.

   
   

5. Create a Memory Book or Keepsake

   Gather your written tribute, along with stories from others, and turn it into a memory journal, digital scrapbook, or printed booklet to share with family. These keepsakes can become treasured family heirlooms, and your words will be a part of that lasting memory.

I hope this article was a helpful reminder that you don't need to stand up and speak to effectively honor someone you love. What matters most is that you find a comfortable way to express what the person meant to you. Grief doesn't follow a script, nor does honoring one's life and memory.

If you're struggling to find the right words or just want support turning your feelings into something meaningful, a professional eulogy writer can help you craft your message. Whether it's for someone else to read, to print in a program, or simply to keep for yourself, your tribute will be written with care and compassion.

If you'd like help crafting your tribute, spoken or unspoken, I'm here to support you every step of the way.